I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize