Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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