some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
