He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
