So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
you never un-have a 4some
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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