I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
40s are totally the cure
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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