fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
