you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i think i just lost a toe
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
