Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
