the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
