Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
