What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize