A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
