My Higher Power is John Stamos
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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