i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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