Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
