note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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