I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
