Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize