it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
