Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
