watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
