she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
