There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
