I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
