doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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