Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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