What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
