i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize