After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
