How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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