I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
