just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
