im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
