went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
There's always time for handjobs
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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