i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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