Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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