we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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