nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
It's official drugs can't kill me
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
