He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
