I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
