Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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