the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
