i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
His hands were made for my vagina.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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