It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
