You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
