When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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