smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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