Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
