Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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