i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
