I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
