Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
