Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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