You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize