her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
