ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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