he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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