Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
