I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
