Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
