Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
