Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
either way he was missing a nipple.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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