Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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