maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
