Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
